Eliza Lucy Spencer (1819- 1898) was the daughter of the Government Resident at Albany, who was succeeded by George Grey. Eliza married Grey in 1839; on their way back from England, in 1840, a son was born to them. When the baby died in Adelaide at the age of five months, Grey blamed his wife. She was never reconciled to life in Adelaide, and remained miserable in New Zealand, where contemporaries described her ‘a perfect devil’, ill natured, untrustworthy, and given to tantrums. She suffered a serious nervous breakdown in 1858 and returned to England, where Grey followed in 1859. Finally, on board ship in 1860 she committed an indiscretion involving a flirtatious letter. The ship’s doctor swore that Grey would either kill his wife or himself if they continued; she was put off the vessel at Rio de Janeiro, and separated from her husband for the next thirty-seven years. A reconciliation in 1896 only imposed more strain on both parties and they both died in September 1898.

Sources:
Rutherford, Sir George Grey K.C.B., 1812 – 1898: A Study in Colonial Government
Therein:
Charlotte Godley Letters 124-5
Mrs S.T. George 26 Nov 1897, Grey MSS
Keppel, A Sailor’s Life III pp 40
Bishop Gray to Grey 1858
Letters to Lord Stamford, Mrs A. Campbell, Annie George 1896
New Zealand Herald, March 16 1934